This is a question I want to bring to light.
How many times do you feel ashamed because of the way you feel?
This is something so normal and yet so wrong. We have come to a stage in society where we are shamed for the way we feel, for complaining when we don’t like something, for speaking our truth when we are unhappy.
Do you ever feel unhappy with your life and you may or may not know why?
Do your friends, family and loved ones tell you that you should be happy? You should be more positive? You aren’t going through what they are or have gone through?
Therefore, your feelings cause you shame. Society tells us that unless we are a victim, our life is terrible, or things aren’t going well that we aren’t allowed nor supposed to be unhappy because our life isn’t as bad as someone else’s.
Are you constantly told that your life is perfect? Ideal? Easy?
Do you get chastised by others when you tell them you just don’t feel happy?
Do you speak up about your feelings and get told that at least you haven’t or aren’t experiencing what the other person is?
Is your life constantly compared to the lives of others?
I am going to let you in on a little secret…
You are going to be unhappy!
Negative things are going to happen!
EVERYONE experiences negativity in their own way, and it isn’t better or worse than anyone else’s.
You can be the most successful or unsuccessful person in the world and still be unhappy!!! WHY?
Because of your Mindset!!!
Now I will admit that there are people who are medically unhappy because of certain things going on in their body and brain…I am not a medical doctor and will never diagnose or treat medical conditions.
What I am going to admit is that a lot of the time when we are unhappy, we are shamed, we are told that we have a great life compared to others, we aren’t supposed to be unhappy, to go see a doctor and get medication and to suck it up and love life.
This isn’t right, it isn’t healthy, and it isn’t going to be the way to make anyone happy.
Why not try and see if it’s your mindset beliefs that are causing your unhappiness?
Think on this… CASE STUDY – FICTIONAL CHARACTER
Janet has a great life, she has the ideal career, house, husband, family, children, lifestyle, friends, etc.
Janet is miserable and she doesn’t know why. She hides her misery because to the outside world her life is perfect. She once told someone that she was feeling unhappy and didn’t know why and was told “why would you be unhappy; your life is perfect and it’s not like your husband is cheating on you like mine is”.
Her life could take any of the following turns depending on her mindset…she can start to abuse drugs, alcohol, sex…she can become anxious, depressed…she can turn to self-harm and suicide…or she can turn to finding the cause within her mindset.
Janet is feeling unhappy because of her mindset; she doesn’t have any medical conditions.
Janet decides to take a chance and look for help from someone like me.
We find out that Janet’s perfect, ideal life is based upon a belief she created when she was a little girl. Her father left when she was very young, and her mother was a single, hardworking mother of 3. She made sure everyone in her life got what they needed and were loved.
Now this is an amazing story, a happy childhood, an ideal role model. Janet created a belief that her life was going to be like her mother’s. She was going to make sure that everyone around her was happy, loved and had everything they needed. She succeeded in creating her dream for herself and it turned out even better.
But Janet is still unhappy in spite of having the ideal life…why?
Well Janet doesn’t do anything for herself. She of course gets her hair and nails done but that is to keep up with her high-profile life thanks to all the charity/award/gala events her and her husband attend. These are all just another way she makes sure everyone has what they need. She keeps up the appearance that her life is amazing because she would be shamed if she told anyone she was drowning in unhappiness.
A beautiful belief, created by an amazing experience, created a negative feeling because it wasn’t in alignment with what Janet wanted, needed or desired.
IT IS OK TO BE UNHAPPY!!!!
IT IS OK TO SPEAK ABOUT THAT UNHAPPINESS!!!
IT IS OK TO FIND HELP IDENTIFYING, UNDERSTANDING AND RECREATING the beliefs that are creating your unhappiness.
It doesn’t matter what your life is like to the outside world. What matters, and I mean ONLY matters is how you feel. Your life is meant to be lived, it’s meant to be experienced, it’s meant to have trauma, loss, happiness and success. The only thing that decides which one you experience more, and how long and in what way you experience it is your mindset.
Speak out about your feelings, get the help you need, trust that you aren’t alone and tell others that their feelings matter!!!
If you find this blog touches something in your life, in your feelings, in your heart I want you to share and use the hashtag #icanbeunhappy